Thursday, November 18, 2010

Let’s Just Blame the Drudge Report!

Today just happens to be one of those days where there are too many interesting stories to deal with… so I’m going to do one of my snippet summaries of everything and hope that I don’t ramble on for four pages… as I have before.

Shocker that I can be that opinionated, right?

All sarcasm aside – for about 30 seconds – let’s get down to why we’re blaming the Drudge Report.

Clearly, it’s because Matt Drudge and his conservative watchdog news site has created chaos where there’s absolutely nothing to worry about! Silly and pointless conservatives: How dare they protest being groped by strangers for no good reason?

Fortunately for us, Emmett Tyrrell, a columnist at Townhall.com, is much more patriotic than that. He not only points out that, a CBS News poll found that 81% of Americans approve of the use of the high-tech machines at airports” but also throws in a lovely sexist pig of a comment about not minding being felt up, “especially if the patter-downer is a cute little number on the order of, say, Sarah Palin.”

Aw! Isn’t it so cute when liberals go all oink-ish cave man? It just makes me agree with his brilliant point even more… plus I suddenly have this urge to chain myself to a stove and bake him something delicious.

Weird.

Mr. Tyrrell goes on to mock the assertion that TSA agents actually touch passengers in places they should not be touching:

“[John Tyner] had opted for the pat-down in place of the scanner, but he warned, ‘If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested.’… Well, speak for yourself, Mr. Tyner.”

Clearly, he likes getting groped, but that’s what paid escorts are for… not the TSA. Not to mention that, as Ann Coulter colorfully – but insightfully – puts it:

“Last year, a Muslim attempting to murder Prince Mohammed bin Nayef of Saudi Arabia blew himself up with a bomb stuck up his anus. Fortunately, this didn’t happen near an airport, or Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano would now be requiring full body cavity searches to fly.”

In other words, where does it stop? That point probably should have been reached well before we had to choose between radiation emitting body scanners and getting molested.

Can’t Blame the Drudge Report for This One… But Where’s Security Now?

Meanwhile, we can’t seem to get any real security in our own neighborhoods. At least not if our own neighborhoods are Baltimore City, Maryland. Take the case of Whit MacCuaig, who is so concerned about getting attacked at night that he double-parks in front of his house twice a week after his evening classes, so he can run his laptop inside.

He got ticketed for doing that a few months ago. Now, you can argue that double-parking is double-parking, which is against the law. But where were the ticket-happy, government-paid employees when he was attacked last October, when his house was burglarized in April, or when several of his neighbors were beaten up over the summer?

Where was security then? More than likely, they were busy feeling people up at BWI.

And we do know for a fact that security was busy arresting seven dangerous desperados a few states northward. Their crime? Playing chess in a Manhattan park!

It’s really shocking what this world is coming to when grown men will play chess in public. No wonder we need full body scanners and government-sanctioned fondling!

This is What They Sit Around and Think Of?!?!?!?!

Speaking of government-sanctioned fondling – it’s practically awe-inspiring how well that transition works – the District Department of Health is sponsoring “Rubber Revolution D.C.”

Yup, that kind of rubber. As in “Trojan Man!” (You know you want to say it.)

And as P.J. Orvetti – who wrote an article entitled, “D.C.’s Condom Quiz: Government Site Matches Condoms to Personalities – points out, “In a city with a 3.2 percent HIV rate – higher than that of West Africa – an effort to promote safe sex is worthwhile.”

Yeah, because all of the school-sanctioned talks about unwanted pregnancies and STDs has really done us a lot of good in the past. Here’s the thing: People know very well that sex has consequences. They just don’t think the negative ones will ever happen to them.

Fortunately for us and our children, however, at least one school thinks it has the answer for such immature choices: Open up a drug clinic. On school grounds.

Yup, sadly, it’s come to this. Clearly, there’s something wrong here, even if the clinic won’t cost taxpayers a dime as they’re claiming.

Maybe it has something to do with how we’re teaching our kids. For example, the fact that we teach inequality… like how women can invade traditional male areas of life, even down to their locker rooms… but men should be kept in much tighter restraints?

Case in point: Cornelius Tietze, a member of the Wyoming Seminary, Forty Fort, PA high school field hockey team. Since the game is traditionally played by females here, Tietze has an obvious and unfair advantage that are making people cry foul.

Personally, I agree that it’s wrong. Keep organized women’s sports amongst women. But be sure to do the same for men then.

Yet instead of addressing common sense issues, our elected leaders, like Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-WV), waste their time trying to destroy our constitutional right to free speech by throwing the FCC at the likes of “Fox and… MSNBC.”

Maybe we should add the Drudge Report to that list while we’re at it.

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