Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Sarah Palin Tops AskMen.com’s Least Desirable Women List

According to AskMen.com, Sarah Palin is 2011’s “least desirable” woman.

Seriously.

While ridiculously tramped up figures such as Jersey Shore’s Snookie and desperate sex icon has-beens like Madonna also graced the list of 10, they chose Sarah Palin as the worst of the worst.

You just have to roll your eyes at the ridiculousness of the whole juvenile concept, not to mention the alleged pièce de résistance.

It’s not hard to understand that anybody who has the time and inclination to not only put together such a list but actually publish it as well has the maturity level of Lindsey Lohan and Charlie Sheen… put together. And that shows in their frat-boy mentality displayed in just the opening paragraph:

“Early next month, AskMen will reveal its Top 99 Most Desirable Women Of 2011. It will be a list full of jaw-dropping beauties, noted intellectuals and chicks with big breasts.”

Cut! Cut! Time out! Let’s stop and think about that last line for a minute there…

“Noted intellectuals?” How can they take themselves seriously putting that phrase right before “chicks with big breasts?” It’s like dropping from Oxford University Press to Play Boy in the space of seven words, and only serves to highlight the I’m-a-big-boy… really! mentality the authors have probably struggled with their entire lives.

Take that criticism any way you want to, because it’s probably true no matter what. (Hey, if they want to descend to cretinism in objectifying women, they should expect some of the same being dished right back at them.)

AskMen.com Takes Maturity Tips from Perez Hilton

Moving on…

“But as a stark reminder that with light comes darkness, we must first explore the 10 women who failed to light our collective fires. Some wasted their once unlimited potential, while others, sadly, were born this way. So without further ado, please enjoy our selection of the top 10 least desirable women of 2011 -- and remember, without the sour, the sweet ain’t as sweet.”

They then try to justify themselves by throwing tawdry trash into the mix, along with former Playmate Holly Madison, who comes in at number nine. Why? Because she apparently got catty.

Ummm… Have they ever read the parable of the speck in one man’s eye and the plank in another’s?

Probably not, as that would mean they have better than a kindergarten education level.

And what about the petty and ridiculous speech that frequently comes out of Megan Fox’s mouth? Yet Fox makes the list every year since she first made her big debut in Hollywood.

Double standard much?

Then again, AskMen.com would probably jump all over Madison if they could only get drunk enough to say “yes.” They were just trying to prove that they’re not eternal pigs by throwing in some supposedly non-sexist reason into their obviously sexist list.

Just Plain Mean… and Inaccurate

Their 3rd Least Desirable Woman proves their cheapness without a shadow of a doubt, and is by far the nastiest and most unnecessary entry… one that blows Sarah Palin’s inclusion out of the water:

“If we ran into Khloe Kardashian awash in the dim light of a VIP room, under the influence of multiple shots of Ciroc, we might be tempted to compliment her hairdo and maybe even offer a kiss, as we'd be too drunk to recall her marriage to the behemoth hoopster Lamar Odom. But in the harsh light of day with the cold truth of sobriety in tow -- and especially with her next to her two far more alluring sisters, Kim and Kourtney -- well, let’s just say she’s not ‘the pretty one’ for a reason.”

Now that’s just unnecessarily catty and cruel.

Here’s the thing: Sarah Palin has a loving family and the confidence to consistently stand up for herself even in the face of continuing oppression. And, at the risk of being petty myself, she’s widely accepted as a hottie, especially for a woman her age.

I mean, as much as I hate the term, there’s a reason why she got dubbed a MILF during the 2008 elections.

Khloe Kardashian is more than likely not a confident woman with a loving family, as evidenced by said family’s reality show. Enough said.

Why give her grief that “she’s not ‘the pretty one’” on top of everything else? Especially considering that she’s not even close to being the dog they allege her to be. Beautiful hair, pretty eyes, hot figure… AskMen.com was definitely stretching on this one.

Sarah Palin: The Liberal Man’s Worst Nightmare

Then there’s Ms. Palin, of whom they have the following to say:

“We’ll be the first to admit that Sarah Palin can be construed as sexy, especially if you’re into that whole right-wing-extremist-who-loves-to-hunt-and-just-happens-to-look-like-a-porn-star-masquerading-as-a-librarian thing.”

Let me stop them right there… If Sarah Palin is an extremist, then this nation is filled with such. Because she represents the basic thinking of a significant chunk of the U.S.A.

“Unfortunately Palin was given the gift of speech…”

And there you have their main problem with her. She’s an intelligent female unafraid of speaking the truth. How dare she!

“… and every time she opens her mouth to spew anti-Obama rhetoric, she adds at least one beer on the Molson scale (a determinant of how many beers need to be consumed before one beds her).”

Do these men really have a “Molson scale?” If so, that’s hardly flattering to them since it indicates that, in the end, they’re standard-less sluts who would bed a barn animal if only given enough beers.

Hey, they said it. Not me.

Also, if Palin’s “anti-Obama rhetoric” equals “at least one beer” on that scale, then it looks like they wouldn’t want to bed me either. I’m truly devastated that I don’t attract such morons. Please excuse me while I go weep for a few minutes.

AskMen.com… The Missing Link?

“Her much-maligned speech addressing the tragedy in Arizona -- in which she foolishly evoked the derogatory term ‘Blood Libel’ in her own defense -- was the last straw. Don’t worry, Todd; we’re sure she picks up the checks.”

The truth is that they – like the vast majority of the nation – likely never even heard of the term “Blood Libel” before some liberal muckraker came along and taught everybody about its historical definition.

And she wasn’t the one who threw herself into the fray in the first place. That was the liberal media and their ongoing and classless anti-Palin agenda.

So AskMen.com, please throw away your trumped up outrage and stop pretending that you’ve evolved past dragging your knuckles on the ground as you walk. Because you’re not fooling anybody.

It would seem that, if given the legal go-ahead, your liberal selves would be perfectly content to bonk women on the head and drag them back to your caves.

Sure, some conservative men might consider a woman’s place either in the kitchen or the bedroom. But at least that’s one more area they’re allowed than when in the company of such liberal men, who apparently value looks only.

Except in Sarah Palin’s case, of course.

But if she’d just shut up, they’d add her to their “spank bank” – their term, not mine – along with the rest of the women they wish would give them the time of day… but never will.

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