Friday, August 19, 2011

The Friday Edition News According to Jeannette

Quite possibly because I’m in a bit of an ADD mood right now, it’s going to be one of those days where I write a little bit about everything – even the Starbucks Dwarf – and try to somehow make it all fit together.

This is no easy task and should not be tried at home, children. The same goes for liberals, since they can’t get anything right anyway.

In a sign of the continuing economic mess they’ve created, Bank of America is laying off 3,500 jobs this quarter alone and could soon cut as many as 6,500 later this year.

Fortunately, if the axed employees happen to be dwarfs, they can apply to Starbucks… and sue for either A) Not getting hired due to discrimination, or B) Getting hired and then fired for discrimination (and not because they’re too short to properly reach all of the equipment in a fast-paced environment).

Hey! It’s already happened once.

Or if they’re black and live in Atlanta, Georgia, they can compete with thousands like them for positions with the 90 employers the Congressional Black Caucus managed to terrify into holding a job fair. On the downside, they might also suffer heatstroke while waiting in the depressingly long lines to get in.

But that’s what Representative and Tea Party darling Allen West says blacks should expect from liberals: toiling out in the hot sun for no pay. West says that the Democrat Party is a “21st century plantation,” complete with too many African American leaders acting as “nothing more than overseers.”

The same could be said for Hispanics (and women and youth), who liberal politicians like to treat like stupid trash, save for a little lip service here and there. Latinos are catching on though, so the Obama administration is throwing them an extra bone by promising to halt deportation of illegal immigrants if they’re only behaving well.

Speaking of aliens, the global warming crowd is getting pathetically desperate. It’s now saying that E.T. might go postal on us if we don’t cut back on our greenhouse gasses.

If those “scientists” weren’t pointless cretins – kinda like CBS and its Obama paraphernalia store – it might hurt how stupid they think we are. I suppose they’re just accustomed to gullible people though, considering their typical following, such as the father and son team just arrested in Pennsylvania for harassing the Palin family.

Sadly, our side can be pretty idiotic too at times. Like the Ron Paul supporters seeking strippers, escorts, or “young hottie[s] who have slept with Texas Governor Rick Perry.

With that kind of ridiculousness out there, it’s a real good thing it’s Friday.

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