Wednesday, December 7, 2011

They’re Spending Our Money on Penis Pumps

They’re spending our money on penis pumps.

And no, there’s no punchline to that statement. Though it is clearly a joke when $240 million of taxpayer money got spent on penis pumps for the elderly over the last 10 years.

That’s according to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, who justify the expenditure since erectile dysfunction (ED) can “commonly occur in men in the Medicare age group.” The National Institutes of Health says that this can be caused by “diabetes, other endocrine abnormalities, vascular abnormalities, trauma, neurogenic, psychogenic, side effects of many medications, and other causes.”

I think that by “other causes” they mean “old age.”

Let’s get real: The older our bodies get, the less they work. And here’s another hard fact to face (or not): Erections aren’t some kind of indisputable right that need to be protected at all costs!

I’m very sorry if a 65-year-old man can no longer perform like he could when he was a young stud muffin of 25. But as sad as I’m sure that is, it shouldn’t be the U.S. government or U.S. taxpayer’s job to pump up his penis! Nor should I have to donate my money towards affording him or anybody else Viagra or implantable devices.

Here’s another thought: If we’re so concerned about the government getting out of everybody’s sex lives, why shouldn’t it apply to the financial side of things as well as the legal or even ethical?

People should pay for their own darn penis pumps for heaven’s sake! And if they can’t afford one, then tough luck. I’m sure they’ll live.

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