Thursday, December 29, 2011

Sweetie the Panda Bear Makes the BBC’s Female Faces of the Year for 2011

Women everywhere, get offended! The BBC just heralded a panda as one of its 12 female Faces of the year 2011.

Really, what better way to end this year and ring in 2012 than to complain about the ridiculousness that is the global media?

Ok. Ok. As stories go, featuring Sweetie the panda as December’s most talked about woman is relatively harmless, especially compared to the nauseatingly long list of other media ridiculousness that ran rampant throughout papers and newsites the rest of the year.

Still, equating an animal to women worldwide (but more specifically U.S. Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff and sister-of-the-princess Pippa Middleton, who all made the list right up there with Sweetie) serves as just one more example of how utterly insignificant the mainstream media has become.

With stories like that, it’s no wonder Fox News holds 2011’s top 13 most-watched cable news programs. There’s really not much else out there when it comes to traditional news outlets.

Here’s hoping that 2012 is filled with a lot more truth and common sense and a lot less propaganda and pointlessness.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Who Cares about Bill Maher’s Tim Tebow Tweets?

Judging by his observable behavior, Denver Broncos’ quarterback Tim Tebow seems like a decent guy.

And, by the same rule, so-called comedian Bill Maher seems like a pretty pointless person who doesn’t deserve the time of day.

Maher, the writer and star of the 2008 commentary “Religulous” – a movie that mocked religion in no uncertain terms – thrives on saying nasty things to cover up his intellectual and societal inadequacies. So it should come as absolutely no surprise that he doesn’t like Tim Tebow, an avowed Christian who isn’t ashamed of what he believes.

Considering the obnoxious, unethical and/or downright illegal behavior of so many other NFL stars – Terrell Owens, Michael Vick and even Brett Favre come to mind – it seems rather stupid to get so riled up by Tebow’s good behavior. But Bill Maher is a supremely stupid man, which is why he tweeted:

“Wow, Jesus just #@*! Tim Tebow bad! And on Xmas Eve! Somewhere… Satan is tebowing, saying to Hitler “Hey, Buffalo’s killing them”

Oh, and he didn't say #@*!. Self-censorship isn't something that Maher believes in.

Admittedly, the Broncos – which consist of more than just Tim Tebow, fyi – lost badly to the Buffalo Bills. And I’ll confess to cringing as I watched the score tick closer and closer to the humiliating 14-40 loss.

But guess what? Losses – even big ones – are part of life just like wins are. They don’t mean that Jesus hates Tim Tebow or that he isn’t exactly what he claimed to be.

Only a supremely stupid someone would try to think otherwise.

So here’s the bottom line on the issue: Bill Maher has made it his personal and professional purpose to prove himself pointless. And since he doesn’t have the power to affect our safety in any way, shape or form, it’s best just to ignore him altogether.

Maybe if we do, he’ll go away.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Anyone Can Get through Airport security with a Fake Boarding Pass but the TSA Takes the Cake

The TSA takes the cake.


Just ask Joe Maltese, whose mother-in-law packed a chocolate cake inside his suitcase, unbeknownst to him. But when he opened it up back home, he got a double surprise: Not only was the cake there, but there was also a decent third neatly sliced out of it.

Neither he, nor his wife, nor his mother-in-law claim responsibility for the missing chunk. And so Maltese contacted the TSA about it, since his luggage also featured a sticker marking that it had been checked.

Go figure, the TSA said it wasn’t their fault either. According to them, they meticulously went through their video feed, in which they saw nothing of any such cake violations.

And it’s not like we have any reason to distrust them other than that they’ve molested children, the elderly and everybody in between with their unprovoked patdowns; behaved completely unprofessional while handling traveler’s luggage and body scans (e.g. stealing stuff, purposely overlooking weed, writing sexually suggestive notes, etc.); picked prison-stay-inducing fights with colleagues, and wasted billions of taxpayer dollars.

Oh right, and they also don’t actually protect us from terrorists either.

Charles C. Mann recently met up with Bruce Schneier, an understandably constant critic of the TSA, who just happens to be a cryptographer and security technologist as well. Schneier is also the man who’s proven just how easy it is to get through airport security with a Photoshopped old boarding pass.

So “Has the nation simply wasted a trillion dollars protecting itself against terror?” Mann muses. His answer is far from satisfactory: “Mostly, but perhaps not entirely.”

Schneier addresses the problem with fairly flawless logic: The government should focus on nipping terrorist plots well before they reach the final phase. “That’s how the British caught the liquid bombers. They never got anywhere near the plane. That’s what you want – not catching them at the last minute as they try to board the flight.”

Put like that, it rather makes a girl wonder just how stupid our government really is.

“It’s infuriating,” Schneier sums it all up easily. “We’re spending billions upon billions of dollars doing this – and it is almost entirely pointless. Not only is it not done right, but even if it was… it would be the wrong thing to do.”

Considering the over bloated bureaucracy in control these days, that isn’t surprising at all.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

CAIR’s List of Questions for the 2012 Presidential Elections’ Candidate Field

It’s Christmas time, a time when normal Americans make lots and lots of lists: shopping lists, wish lists, to-do lists, lists of reasons to be thankful... You get the picture.

Liberals, on the other hand, need no such silly excuse as Christmas to make lists. They make lists all year round, and most of them are negative: lists of enemies to cross; lists of how exactly to aggravate business, slow the economy and dispirit workers; lists of ways to lie, cheat and steal without getting caught.

CAIR (the Council on American-Islamic Relations) is as liberal an organization as you can come by, if you define “liberal” as conniving, illogical and self-serving. So it’s no surprise that CAIR has a list of its own, one directed at the remaining GOP presidential nominees.

Here is its list of questions:

1. Racial and Religious Profiling/Homeland Security: A number of law enforcement agencies use race, ethnicity, national origin, or religion to identify and target individuals for heightened security attention even where there is no indication of wrongdoing. Do you feel relying on these types of characteristics is an effective tactic for protecting America? If not, then what methods do you endorse?

2. Transportation Security (No Fly List): Many Americans report being subject to additional screening when traveling by air or through U.S. borders as a result being incorrectly placed on one of several government watch lists. Would you provide an effective, expeditious means through which persons placed on a government watch list could have themselves removed?

3. Immigration Reform: Do you favor an immigration reform package that includes a path to legalization, an increase in family visas, and restrictions on the lengths of detentions? If not, what would you do differently?

4. International 1 (Afghanistan): What is your plan for bringing our troops home from Afghanistan without sacrificing American prestige and regional stability?

5. International 2 (Arab Spring): Popular protests and upheavals across the Middle East and North Africa have toppled authoritarian regimes and provided new hope that democracy will emerge in the region. How will your administration support this ongoing process of regional democratization?

6. Healthcare (Insurance Coverage): What is your solution to the twin problems of rising healthcare costs and large numbers of uninsured people?

7. Government Benefits (Social Security and Medicare): How would you oversee the administration of the nation’s Medicare and Social Security benefits?

8. Education: In December 2010, the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OCED) released a report that lists our nation’s high school students 25th among industrial world nations in math, 17th in science, and 14th in reading, while China’s Shanghai topped the charts. What is your plan for effectively educating our children and keeping our workforce internationally competitive?

9. Economic Empowerment 1 (National Debt): The United States lost its top-tier AAA credit rating from Standard & Poor’s in August 2011, and the national debt stands at $14.71 trillion. Many candidates have stated that they will eliminate the national debt and restore America’s credit rating without cutting government services to the neediest. How will you solve the debt crisis?

10. Economic Empowerment 2 (Revitalizing Economy): The current economic downturn, lack of trust in the financial market, and high unemployment rate has left far too many Americans struggling. What is your plan for the revitalizing the economy and reducing poverty in the United States?

11. Civil Liberties (Protecting Civil Liberties): Following the February 2011 reauthorization of the USA PATRIOT ACT, and revelations about the FBI and NYPD-CIA respectively carrying out domestic spying programs, civil liberties groups and Members of Congress continue to raise concerns over government intrusiveness into private life and the post 9/11 erosion of civil liberties. What measures will you implement to ensure the protection of the civil liberties enjoyed by Americans?

Personally, Number 2 is my favorite. And who says that CAIR isn't reasonable?

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Daily Caller Gives Us “Government Spending at Its Stupidest”

What would we do without amazing conservative websites like the Daily Caller, which gives us lists like “Top ten: Government spending at its stupidest?”

Thanks to them, we learn invaluable facts about what the government is doing with our hard-earned taxpayer money, like recklessly spending:

1. $130,987 for dragon robots: “We think the phrase ‘dragon robots’ sounds pretty cool. But when their purpose is to help develop preschoolers’ vocabulary, that’s when we get a little worried. The National Science Foundation will spend nearly $1 million over four years to determine if the dragon-shaped robot can enhance toddlers’ learning skills – because Elmo and Barney are just so 1990s.”

2. $175,587 for a study on the link between cocaine and the mating habits of quail: “The funding for this super-important scientific study is down from its 2010 level of $181,406. But we think the amount is ridiculous for research that proves what the film ‘Blow’ already did: that cocaine is linked to high-risk sexual activity.”

3. $96,000 on iPads for kindergartners: “One school district was awarded this grant to buy every kindergarten student the latest Apple gadget. These kids can’t add yet, but thanks to Uncle Same they’ll never need to.”

4. $147,138 to build a magic museum: “Maybe the wizards at the American Museum of Magic in Marshall, Mich., can make the federal deficit disappear. The grant was awarded to promote the “history of magic entertainment.”

5. $48,700 towards the Second Annual Hawaii Chocolate Festival: “These funds were awarded to promote Hawaii’s chocolate industry. The Aloha State is already full of sandy beaches, clear blue water, and sun. Why do they get all the good stuff/ (That’s the mayor of Hershey, Pennsylvania on Line 1.)”

6. $484,000 for a pizza restaurant: “Arlington, Texas has one more beer and pizza joint, thanks to this grant to a private developer. The groovy Mellow Mushroom, a national chain, is known for its hippie theme.”

7. $606,000 for a study about online dating: “Columbia University researchers received over a half-million dollars to study online dating. Maybe the Ivy League nerds who conducted this study should put down the lab coats and go to a bar – or at least the library.”

8. $55,660 on butter packaging: “Kriemhild Dairy Farms received this chunk of change to package their grass-fed cow butter. The funding isn’t the only thing that’s too big: The butter itself is 85 percent fat.”

9. $136,555 for teachers to retrace Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in England: “This grant, awarded to teachers from Kent State and Eastern Illinois Universities, allowed Middle English fanatics to take the trip outlined in Canterbury Tales. We’re betting £10 that the tour guides just make up half of the landmarks.”

10. 764,825 for a study on how college students use cell phones and social media: “The National Science Foundation awarded the University of Notre Dame this grant to study the mobile and social media habits of college freshmen. We can tell you exactly how college freshmen use mobile phones and social media: for 3 a.m. texts and phone calls to that girl in American History. We could have saved the government a lot of money. Just ask us.”

Of course, considering the size of our national debt and deficit, those amounts might not really seem like that big of a deal. But you know what they say: A couple hundred thousand dollars here and a couple hundred thousand dollars there can really add up before you know it.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

If Women Ruled the World

According to some people, if women ruled the world, there would be no more war.

There would be no more power struggles, or rape or poverty or ill-educated children. Only songs sung to fluffy bunnies and friendly unicorns, while everyone wears lots of pink.

And yes, the notion is that ridiculous.

Despite PC notions of sex and gender, women are still human beings. And human beings have a nasty tendency to want what they want, when they want it and how they want it.

The only things that keep most people in check are the natural codes of ethics we’re created with and the legal ramifications of behaving badly. It might be tempting, after all, to lie, cheat, steal and abuse, but hopefully not enough to suffer the consequences.

But if men and women choose to ignore their consciences or consider the potential punishment insignificant, the gloves come off and the bad behavior starts.

For proof of that, look no further than any elementary school playground, where undisciplined little boys beat up on their weaker playmates and undisciplined little girls shun, pick on and trash talk their less pretty or graceful or well-to-do classmates. The motivations are the same; only the means of delivery differ, since each gender has its stereotypical tendencies and limitations.

Those limitations are why men, for better or worse, seem to dominate the history books. It’s simply easier for men to achieve widespread command than women, though there have been some prominent female rulers as well…

Like Queen Mary, who brutalized Protestants, and Queen Elizabeth, who persecuted Catholics in her turn. And like Queen Isabella, who is credited with starting the Spanish Inquisition, and Catherine the Great, who earned her name through her military might.

In other words, women are just as capable of instituting pain and destruction as men when they manage to achieve unlimited control. So gender has far less to do with it than power, which “tends to corrupt and absolute power [which] corrupts absolutely,” as Lord Acton wisely once said.

So when Hillary Clinton – a power-hungry, power-wielding woman – starts talking about promoting women as a means of bringing about peace and Barack Obama – a power-hungry, power-wielding man – starts signing executive orders to “support women as critical participants in preventing and resolving conflict,” consider both of them up to no good…

And their idea rather ridiculous.

Monday, December 19, 2011

“50 Facts about the U.S. Economy That Will Shock You”

According to The Economic Collapse, an economic blog that digs beneath the mainstream media’s “reporting” for the real relevant details, the U.S. economy is a lot worse off than President Obama and his cronies would have us believe.

“America is consuming far more wealth than it is producing and our debt is absolutely exploding. If we stay on this current path, an economic collapse is inevitable,” the site says. “If we do not educate the American people about how deathly ill the U.S. economy has become, then they will just keep falling for the same old lies that our politicians keep telling them.”

So, prepare yourselves for a bit of education. If you want to read the full list of 50 facts, click here. Otherwise, I’ve included ten of the most alarming below:

  • “If the number of Americans that ‘wanted jobs’ was the same today as it was back in 2007, the ‘official unemployment rate put out by the U.S. government would be up to 11 percent.”
  • “The average amount of time that a worker stays unemployed in the United States is now over 40 weeks.”
  • “There are fewer payroll jobs in the United States today than there were back in 2000 even though we have added 30 million extra people to the population since then.”
  • “The Federal Reserve recently announced that the total net worth of U.S. households declined by 4.1 percent in the 3rd quarter of 2011 alone.”
  • “The U.S. Postal Service [alone] has lost more than 5 billion dollars over the past year.”
  • “A higher percentage of Americans is living in extreme poverty (6.7 percent) than has ever been measured before.”
  • “Today, one out of every seven American is on food stamps and one out of every four American children is on food stamps.”
  • “Right now, spending by the federal government accounts for about 24 percent of GDP. Back in 2001, it accounted for just 18 percent.
  • “If Bill Gates gave every single penny of his fortune to the U.S. government, it would only cover the U.S. budget deficit for about 15 days.”
  • “The U.S. national debt has been increasing by an average of more than 4 billion dollars per day since the beginning of the Obama administration.”

Just a few things to think about while we’re all working out our New Year’s resolutions lists.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Tim Tebow Haters like Rabbi Joshua Hammerman Have Gone off the Deep End

I’ve been a Denver Broncos football fan since Super Bowl XXXII in 1998. (Which they won) And I’ve been loyal ever since, even rooting against my #2 team, the Steelers, in Super Bowl XL for beating the Broncos in the AFC Championship game that year.

Sadly, I don’t get to watch them all that much, largely because I don’t have cable. That and, living in Baltimore, I find myself frequently distracted from paying attention to my beloved Broncos, thanks to my intense annoyance with all things Ravens.

These days though, as difficult as it is for me to shut out the birds marking everything from billboards to coworkers’ conversations, it’s become even more difficult to ignore the Broncos, all thanks to the Tim Tebow insanity sweeping the country.

Commentary on Tim Tebow is everywhere, from the sports world to religious venues. And even in the former, opinions of him seem to spring from his Christianity more than his ability to play ball half the time.

Considering the downright nasty analysis he can get, it doesn’t seem too farfetched to say that it isn’t Tebow’s ability or inability to throw a ball that really has people in snits.

Take Rabbi Joshua Hammerman, who – if not for being a Jew – would probably get along great with President Obama’s old pal, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, who is known for his hateful words on just about every subject, including the 9/11 terrorist attacks. (Wright hates Jews, hence why he and Hammerman wouldn’t be friends.)

In his personal blog, Hammerman predicts that a Tebow Super Bowl victory could lead to “insane things, like burning mosques, bashing gays and indiscriminately banishing immigrants.” All because the Broncos quarterback is a conservative Christian.

Because conservative Christians are known for that kind of stuff? That notion makes as much sense as Hammerman’s defense that Tebow:

“…has done extraordinary things. His love for people is unbounded. His entire life’s work is also predicated on saving my soul for Jesus. He’s not alone in this. Tebow has been affiliated with the Southern Baptists, who spend millions to convert Jews, often deceptively… I personally don’t consider that exemplary behavior. Is it better than raping little boys? Absolutely. But is it admirable? I have issues with anyone determined to save my soul, be that person Christian or Jewish… My ideal person of faith is a pluralist, one who accepts the legitimacy of my faith. Tebow does not. I do not find that admirable.”

First of all, a religious pluralist is somebody who doesn’t really have a belief, only crack. Second of all, as far as I’m aware, Tim Tebow has never said anything even remotely anti-Semitic. And third of all, huh?

This seems a decent time to quote Proverbs 26:4 – a Jewish saying – and move on.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Islam Isn’t Nearly So Nice as CAIR Wants Us to Think

Islam is a problematic religion.

Sorry to say it yet again, but it’s just as true today as it was during the Fort Hood shooting of 2009, the 9/11 attacks of 2001 and the Twin Tower bombing in 1993.

It doesn’t matter that the Counsel of American Islamic Relations (CAIR) wants to portray Islam as “a faith that preaches peace, co-existence, justice, tolerance, love [and] compassion,” as the organization’s Ahmed Rehab says. Nor, for the sake of this particular discussion, does it matter that the majority of Muslims are just ordinary people trying to live out their lives.

There are still far too many extremely violent followers of Islam – of which we have ample proof – to deny that their religion plays a part in it. (For a verifiable list of JUST the Islamic group al Qaeda’s global contributions to violence, click here.)

Yet CAIR tries to numb us to all of that through propaganda like TLC’s “All American Muslim,” a reality show that follows five Muslim families through their everyday activities in America.

That’s all well and good, and in a free country like America, they have the right to create, produce and star in any such thing. But the public also has the right to know that there’s another side to Islam then what CAIR would have us believe.

This is the side that chains up, beats and even tortures young children in Pakistani Islamic seminaries to prepare them for fighting the infidels. This is the side that brutally attacks random pedestrians on Western streets while shouting ethnic slurs. And this is the side that wants Christians and Jews either dead or deprived of their God-given freedom.

It isn’t wrong or shameful or embarrassing to acknowledge that unfortunate reality.

When terrorists yell “Allah akbar” – clearly marking themselves as Islamists – right before they start attacking innocents, it’s only wrong and shameful and embarrassing to not acknowledge that Islam appeals to some people with really twisted world views.

We can treat Muslims both here in the U.S. and everywhere else with the respect they deserve as human beings and individuals. But we do not have to be dangerously stupid in ignoring Islam’s much more problematic side.

If anything, it might very well hurt somebody somewhere not to acknowledge it.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Michael Savage Offers $1 Million to Newt Gingrich to Drop out of Race

Popular conservative talk show host Michael Savage, stunned the news nation yesterday with an offer to presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich:

Get out of the race and he’ll give the former Speaker of the House $1 million; stay in and risk losing to Obama. In Savage’s own words, here’s why…

“The Republican presidential field has come down to two candidates who have a real chance of getting the nomination: Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney. While it’s true that Romney is not as strong a conservative as many would like him to be, the most pressing issue before America today is defeating Barack Obama. And that is something Newt Gingrich cannot do.”

Why not? Well, Savage’s reasons mainly come down to Gingrich not being as strong a conservative as he could be, which is funny considering how he flat-out admits that Romney isn’t, and yet he thinks the former Massachusetts governor can win it.

Can anybody say Romneycare?

Yet Savage doesn’t seem to be the only person who wants Mitt out at all cost. His fellow radio talk show host, Glenn Beck, says that he’d rather vote for Ron Paul as a third party candidate than Newt Gingrich on the Republican ticket.

Now I like Beck. And while I’ve never listened to Savage before, I can imagine that I might like him too considering the basic genre that he fits into. But on this issue, both of them are clearly nuts.

I don’t like Gingrich all that much myself. I think he’s a bit pompous, a bit duplicitous and definitely a bit scummy. But all of his faults pale in comparison to Obama, who is either one of the stupidest politician ever to hold office or one of the most evil, and definitely in the top 25 for being self-absorbed, narcissistic and belligerent.

So while, in my opinion, Newt is only marginally better than Mitt Romney, I’d still choose him over the worst U.S. President since Jimmy Carter anyday. And I think it’s fairly obvious that, with economic misery as high as it is, the majority of the country would agree with me.

As for a third party option? That practically guarantees another four years of Obama, so let’s not even go there.

If they know what’s good for their country, Savage and Beck can do us all a favor and just shut up already.

Monday, December 12, 2011

If I Ruled the Universe, the TSA, Obama Administration, UN and Robert Pattinson Would Be Outlawed

I’m always joking with my family and friends about how things would be “If I ruled the universe.”

This sometimes switches to “If I was empress of the world” or “If I ran Planet Earth” but, regardless, the gist is always the same: sanity and common decency would prevail.

If I ruled the universe, for example, women would not be able to wear leggings as pants, a fashion faux pas that shows every crack and crevice of their derrieres. Personally, I don’t care how many Buns of Steel workouts you do every week; I’d really rather not see that much of anybody without at least a formal introduction and a few dates.

If I ruled the universe, men wouldn’t talk about their college porno sprees or jaunts to the strip club in front of women they’ve just met, female colleagues or anybody who hasn’t signed a contract saying they actually want to hear about such things.

And if I ruled the universe, Robert Pattinson would not be a sex symbol. Ever. But that just goes without saying.

Just as necessary would be the removal of the TSA, who (temporarily) topped off their list of utter uselessness by removing an elderly woman’s back brace because they thought she “was wearing a money belt.” Forget my delicious dreamland: Please somebody tell me why they should exist in any universe when they’re so consistently incompetent?

Moving up the ladder, my universe wouldn’t include the Obama administration, which is chock full of more insane ideas than Barney Fife (without the charm). How else can you explain how it’s considering opening up an automated crossing between Mexico and the U.S. at a time when Mexican drug cartels are running amuck and illegal immigration is sapping us of both funds and safety?

And certainly neither last nor least, if I ruled the universe, the UN would be dismantled and fined for all it’s worth (which is or isn’t much, depending on the definition of the word “worth”). The power-mad organization is now looking into ways to impose a semi-global “climate debt” to respect “the rights of Mother Earth,” also known as a tax to line their corrupt pockets even further.

My universe wouldn’t stand for such corruption, stupidity and thoughtlessness. But since my universe quite clearly doesn’t exist, I suppose we’ll all just have to work at fixing this one up as best as we can.

Let’s get to it!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Washington Insiders Just Like to Hear Themselves Speak

Sometimes you have to wonder whether our elected officials actually hear themselves when they speak.

Then you realize that they live to hear the sound of their own voices, which is why they say as many dumb things as they do. After all, they can cram in a lot more them-time if they just babble like idiots.

Take Georgia’s Democrat Representative Hank Johnson, for example. He believes the whole kafuffle over the Fast and Furious gun running scheme “is another manufactured controversy by the second amendment, NRA Republican Tea Party movement.”

No matter that it was the Obama administration’s Attorney General Eric Holder who authorized it, purposely allowing Mexican drug cartels to purchase firearms and bring them across the border – allegedly to track them – resulting in a decent hundred or so deaths, including that of a U.S. border agent.

Nope! This is clearly the “second amendment, NRA Republican Tea Party” group’s fault for putting poor Attorney General Holder on the spot like this: not his own fault at all, clearly. Because perfectly innocent people usually have to explain the difference between lying and misleading Congress as pertaining to “your state of mind and whether or not you had the requisite intent to come up with something that would be considered perjury or a lie.”

Again, babbling like an idiot.

Or consider President Obama, who told a group of Hanukkah guests that he and his “never need an excuse for a good party.” Really, there was no reason to say that unless he enjoys hearing himself, since he’s already made that very apparent with his constant golfing trips and vacations and soirees.

I guess that’s just how Washington works though, both the capitol and the state, as evidenced by Representative Rick Larsen’s staffers tweeting about their drunken activities on the taxpayer’s dime, and referring to the congressman as “my idiot boss,” among other things.

As unprofessional as that was, it’s hard to disagree with the sentiment, considering Larsen’s voting record on issues such as abortion, national security and energy. My biggest issue with his staffers' tweets is simply this: They didn’t include nearly enough people in that description.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Global Warming “Deniers” Are “Endangering Humankind” but the Fort Hood Shooting Was Just “Workplace Violence”

This is how ridiculous we’ve become as a nation:

Our elected senators make mountains out of molehills concerning global warming, while our Defense Department makes molehills out of mountains concerning national security.

Oh right, and our legislators unwittingly sign laws allowing military personnel to engage in sodomy and bestiality.

This is how ridiculous we’ve become as a nation… almost as pathetic as Europe, which is on the verge of collapse and still can’t do anything but whine and rag on America. I didn’t hear a single one of them questioning Standard & Poor’s decision to downgrade the United States’ credit rating this year, but now that it’s threatening to do the same to Germany, well clearly “some American ratings agencies and fund managers” must be “working against the euro zone,” right?

As if they’re not doing a bang up job of destroying their joint economy all by themselves. Just like we’re doing to ourselves by electing the likes of California Senator Barbara Boxer, who recently had this to say on the non-issue of global warming:

“The message I have for climate deniers is this: You are endangering humankind. It is time for climate deniers to face reality, because the body of evidence is overwhelming and the world’s leading scientists agree.”

I assume she’s referring to the scientists who think that aliens from outer space might destroy Earth to save the universe from the ravages of global warming… who are forced to take administrative leave on charges of scientific misconduct for their research on polar bears… or deliberately hide data that don’t support the conclusions they want?

Those scientists? Or is she talking about 1973 Nobel Prize winner and physics genius Dr. Ivar Giaever, who resigned from the American Physical Society over its pro-global warming stance? Or maybe she means NASA, which recently showed that the earth is allowing far more heat into space than global warming hypists would have us believe.

Truth is, I doubt even Boxer knows what she’s talking about. She rarely does, after all.

Neither does our Department of Defense, at least when run by the Obama administration. That much is obvious when it wants to classify a blatant act of terrorism – like Major Nidal Hasan’s Fort Hood shooting – as “workplace violence.” What about the proof that he corresponded repeatedly with radical Islamic cleric Anwar al-Awlaki?

But clearly, that kind of solid proof doesn’t matter when people are so intent on being ridiculous. And let's face it: Under President Obama, that's exactly what we're becoming.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

They’re Spending Our Money on Penis Pumps

They’re spending our money on penis pumps.

And no, there’s no punchline to that statement. Though it is clearly a joke when $240 million of taxpayer money got spent on penis pumps for the elderly over the last 10 years.

That’s according to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, who justify the expenditure since erectile dysfunction (ED) can “commonly occur in men in the Medicare age group.” The National Institutes of Health says that this can be caused by “diabetes, other endocrine abnormalities, vascular abnormalities, trauma, neurogenic, psychogenic, side effects of many medications, and other causes.”

I think that by “other causes” they mean “old age.”

Let’s get real: The older our bodies get, the less they work. And here’s another hard fact to face (or not): Erections aren’t some kind of indisputable right that need to be protected at all costs!

I’m very sorry if a 65-year-old man can no longer perform like he could when he was a young stud muffin of 25. But as sad as I’m sure that is, it shouldn’t be the U.S. government or U.S. taxpayer’s job to pump up his penis! Nor should I have to donate my money towards affording him or anybody else Viagra or implantable devices.

Here’s another thought: If we’re so concerned about the government getting out of everybody’s sex lives, why shouldn’t it apply to the financial side of things as well as the legal or even ethical?

People should pay for their own darn penis pumps for heaven’s sake! And if they can’t afford one, then tough luck. I’m sure they’ll live.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Black Activists Sue Democrat Party for History of Racism

The Democrat Party has long held itself up as the protector of equality and the avenger to those suffering from racism, sexism, genderism, classism, and just about every other “ism” out there (just as long as it doesn’t favor Republicans in any way, of course).

Anybody who understands history, however, knows that banner is far from true. After all, the KKK, Jim Crow laws and the destruction of the black family (through welfare and Lyndon B. Johnson’s so-called War on Poverty) all lie squarely on the Democrat Party’s shoulders.

So really, African Americans have every right to dislike the group.

That’s why Reverend Wayne Perryman, prominent black pastor and community activist, is suing Democrats, from Obama on down. Filed on September 12, 2011 in an official U.S. District Court, Perryman and his co-accusers claim that the party has never apologized for its racist policies dating from 1792 all the way to the present.

At first read, that all sounds like Democrats are finally getting what they deserve. Because, let’s face it, as a party and even on the individual level to a large degree – either through intentional malice or unacceptable ignorance – they’ve acted like abusive spouses towards blacks: saying nice things and giving nice gifts to cover over the bruises.

But just because the Democrat Party deserves to be publicly humiliated and stripped of its finances doesn’t mean that this is the right way to go about it.

First off, the charge of “racism” isn’t on the U.S. books. People can’t legally be prosecuted for disliking somebody based on their differences, nor should they be.

This is a free country, after all, and freedom means the right to think without fear of prosecution, even if those thoughts are completely unfounded. So even if the Democrat Party never does apologize for all of the rotten, hurtful, hateful, ridiculous things it has said over the course of its existence, it shouldn’t legally have to.

Only morally.

It also shouldn’t have to pay for crimes its ancestors committed a few centuries ago or even a few decades ago. Whatever happened to personal accountability?

Of course, the answer to that questions is this: The Democrats killed it. Which means they doubly deserve this taste of their own medicine.

But even so, make no mistake of the bigger picture: This is vigilante justice at play: not law and order. And, as such, it will probably cause more harm than good in the end.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Unemployment Rate Slides to 8.6% Even though Job Situation Didn’t Improve

Checking out the news – specifically the report that “job creation remained weak” last month, yet somehow “the unemployment rate slid to 8.6%” – has put me into a decidedly cranky mood this morning.

That kind of news makes me feel like I’m being lied to. Largely because I am. And so are you.

For that matter, we're also being patronized big time by the Obama administration, which obviously thinks it can play around with economic data enough to lull voters into a false enough sense of security so that we’ll vote Democrat next year.

Translation: Our elected president and his motley crew think we’re a bunch of idiots. Stated bluntly like that, it’s rather hard not to take offense.

Then there’s Herman Cain’s admission that he gave Ginger White money without his wife’s knowledge. That has me ticked off too.

Do I think that he cheated on his wife? No, I still don’t. I’m still as certain as I can be without flat-out proof that those other women were frauds, which makes this latest case unbelievably convenient for Cain’s opposition.

Yet even if my suspicions are correct and Ginger White was lying, it doesn’t change the fact that Cain made a major – and frankly, stupid – mistake that could very well cost him any chance of getting the nomination. If I was his wife, I’d be ticked.

Heck! If I was his supporter – which I am – I’d be ticked!

Though I don’t think I’d mind being wrong in this case, for better or worse, right or wrong, I can’t see Cain recovering from this latest attack.

And that makes me cranky.

Thank God It’s Friday.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry and Lindsay Lohan in Most Popular 2011 Search List

Yesterday I couldn’t help but shake my head in disgust at America – a country that I truly love – when I read about a convicted criminal’s extremely frivolous lawsuit.

Today, unfortunately, I find myself doing the same exact thing after reading Yahoo’s “2011 Year in Review.” Apparently, these were the Top 10 most searched for internet topics in 2011, in order:

1. iPhone
2. Casey Anthony
3. Kim Kardashian
4. Katy Perry
5. Jennifer Lopez
6. Lindsay Lohan
7. American Idol
8. Jennifer Aniston
9. Japan Earthquake
10. Osama bin Laden

Setting Apple mania aside, it’s a really sad day when shallow sluts like Kim Kardashian, pointless bimbos like Katy Perry and all-around train wrecks like Lindsay Lohan are deemed to be of such monumental interest.

While I actually do feel bad for Lindsay Lohan, who is throwing her life away to indulge in obviously very low self-esteem (I can’t bring myself to have any such pity for Kim Kardashian, who only got famous because she made a sex tape, and Katy Perry, who goes out of her way to portray herself and womankind as sexbots with the mental capacity of dandelions), I still have to ask:

Who cares?

Unfortunately, the answer is as obvious as it is unflattering. Mindless gossips care to know all the dirty details about Kim Kardashian’s ill-fated, publicity-driven marriage or Linday Lohan’s countless trips to court and rehab, just like self-made subservients are interested in Katy Perry’s latest cupie doll performance.

(And no, I’m not talking about clicking on a featured story about them every once in a while. I’m referring to actually searching for them.)

As Yahoo points out, “Breaking news stories don't always crack the Top 10: People don't have to search for details they can get in the news, and it's rare that a single term can stand for a complex news story.”

But even so, that’s no excuse for such universal interest in the illegal, immoral and uninspiring antics of such uninspiring and exceedingly immature individuals.