Thursday, February 16, 2012

How Dumb They Are: Pop Star Shakira Nearly Gets Herself Killed by a “Cute” Sea Lion

Hollywood celebrities are notoriously sheltered and stupid.

They live in million dollar mansions, vacation at five-star resorts around the world, wear little but designer clothing and waste tons of money on gyms, personal trainers and plastic surgery all in an attempt to try fitting into a completely unrealistic idea of what perfection looks like.

And they finance those lavish lifestyles by playing make believe until they have completely convinced themselves that down is up, left is right and shallow is deep.

Take hottie tottie pop star Shakira, who nearly got herself killed in South Africa this month. She described the incident this way:

“This afternoon I happened to see some sea lions and seals. I thought to myself how cute they were so I decided to get a bit closer than all of the other tourists and went down to a rock trying to pet them doing a baby talk while taking pictures.

“Suddenly, one of them jumped out of the water so fast and impetuously that it got about one foot away from me, looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me. Everyone there screamed, including me. I was paralyzed by fear and couldn’t move, I just kept eye contact with it while my brother ‘Super Tony’ jumped over me and literally saved my life, taking me away from the beast.

“We both got our hands and legs scratched by the rocks while trying to protect ourselves. I believe what happened is that it confused the shiny reflection of the BlackBerry I was taking these pics with, with some sort of fish.

“It probably thought I was teasing it with food and then taking it away from it. Wow! It’s funny that only half an hour before I was complaining to my guide Andrew that I never get to see wild animals up close on adventure trips.

“Oh well, I can’t say that anymore!! Now I’m off to see some penguins! I hope they are a bit more friendly!”

Much as movies like “Free Willy,” “Andre,” and “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home” (Yes, I went there) depict otherwise, wild animals are exactly that– wild animals – and should be trusted to act like nothing else. They’re territorial and temperamental and programmed to a way of life that human beings aren’t supposed to follow: kill or be killed.

The 35-year-old Shakira saying that she wanted to pet them because they looked “cute” is about as dangerous as a 5-year-old agreeing to accept candy from a stranger. The only difference is that a 35-year-old should know a heck of a lot better.

And the fact that she didn’t is just one more indication that Hollywood celebrities really are that stupid.

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