Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Now the Government Assures Us Were Too Stupid to Decide What to Eat Ourselves

According to the CDC, 34% of American adults are obese and 6% are severely so. And by 2030, it projects that those numbers will rise to 42% and 11% respectively.

But while those numbers are alarming, they say, there is a way out. With government help.

I suppose that proposition is supposed to leave us gaping in shock and awe, asking ourselves why we didn’t think of such a simple solution sooner. I mean, considering the… ummm… fascinating job the government has done tackling all of our other national problems – like racism, poverty, sexism and a flagging education system – we’re … ummm… well… we’re… overwhelmed that they’d offer to take on yet another responsibility in their busy, busy schedules.

Yet they seem more than willing, even eager to help us out of a ditch and over a cliff once again.

Committee Member Shiriki Kumanyika of the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine explains, “People have heard the advice to eat less and move more for years… That advice will never be out of date. But when you see the increase in obesity you ask, what changed? And the answer is: the environment. The average person cannot maintain a healthy weight in this obesity-promotion environment.”

Let me translate: Americans aren’t just fat, we’re also stupid, completely incapable of taking care of ourselves in a constantly evolving world filled with fast food and candy bars. It’s not our fault that we can’t say no to the naughty nutritional options we face every day, and government will happily hold our hand the whole entire way through to a new future. End of translation.

Of course, considering the help government has forced us to accept in the past, we’ll probably end up heavier than ever… or starving to death. Either way, we’d be a lot better off just jumping off the cliff on our own than letting them lead us over it.

At least that way we wouldn’t have to listen to them try to dictate EVERY aspect of our lives, which is exactly what they want to do. The IOM left no dietary detail untouched, judging by its 478-page report, which included an assessment that it’s going to take more than a single soda tax to fix things. Under their guidance, Americans wouldn’t just have a few extra rules and restrictions to abide by; we’ll have dozens… if not hundreds.

As Reuters informs us, this is because “Obesity is responsible for an additional $190 billion a year in healthcare costs, or one-fifth of all healthcare spending… plus billions more in higher health insurance premiums, lost productivity and absenteeism.”

That’s really the crux of the issue anyway. If Obamacare stands and the government really does take control of the healthcare system, it’s going to have to find some way to pay for it all. And their best proposition is to prevent everyone from being unhealthy… as if that’s possible.

When it comes down to it, they should just abandon the idea of slimming America down and just build themselves a bunch of cyborgs instead. Clearly, that’s what they really want anyway.

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