Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Day 2012 Is on Us and I’m Feeling Good


Personally, I’m feeling good about today, despite having to stand in line for an hour this morning while waiting to cast my vote, outside in the cold while needing to use the little girls’ room.

Don’t ask me why it took an hour, because there were at least a dozen voting booths, half of which always seemed empty. But it did nonetheless, and it’s beside the point regardless.

The point is that – despite so many of my conservative friends expressing anxiety about the elections – things aren’t looking bad at all for Mitt Romney, who is apparently up a notch in Ohio and tied in Pennsylvania, my former home state that never ever ever goes red. Like ever.

The same can’t be said about our current President, who ended his campaign with a rally in Ohio’s Nationwide Arena alongside Jay-Z and Bruce Springsteen… and literally a few other supporters.

Oh, and speaking of Jay-Z, those women concerned about how they’re going to be treated in the next four years should pay attention to this one…

While performing at said lackluster event, the rapper performed one of his former hits that normally goes: “If you’re having girl problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one,” though he switched it up a bit to “If you’re having world problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but Mitt ain’t one.”

The new lyrics are excessively lame but the original lyrics are just as telling, as Obama is openly choosing to associate with somebody who sings about bitches – a.k.a. women – being unimportant. But we’re supposed to believe that it’s Romney who’s going to be bad for females?

Yeah, and Joe Biden is intelligent.

Which, of course, he isn’t. He flubbed up again the other day, talking about Republican attacks against “President Clinton” instead of President Obama. And that’s on top of fervently declaring that he’s never “been proud to be” Obama’s vice president, screwing up his whereabouts in state after state, and asking soldiers if they’d served in Iraq or Iran.

So even for those conservatives who are biting your nails – probably for no good reason whatsoever – as they go to vote today and hover by their TVs waiting for news tonight, there’s one fact to count on:

Biden will still be an idiot. And he’s not ours.

Now that’s something to smile about.

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