Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The Bewilderingly Stupid Saga of Rob Parker’s RGIII Issue Continues

There’s bewilderingly stupid. And then there’s ESPN commentator Rob Parker.

It wasn’t that long ago that the race-crazy nitwit was calling Redskins Quarterback Robert Griffin III a “cornball brother” and lamenting that: “He’s not real. Okay, he’s black. He kind-of does the thing. But he’s not really down with the cause. He’s not one of us. He’s kind-of black, but he’s not really, like, the guy you want to hang out with because he’s off to something else. We all know he has a white fiancée. There was all this talk about he’s a Republican.”

Well, people freaked out on him for being so ignorant, as well they should have. The outcry was enough that Mr. Parker was suspended for six days, upon which he did apologize. But apparently he’s too stupid to really understand what he did wrong in the first place, because, as of Sunday, he was back at it again.

In an exclusive interview, he expressed bewilderment that his comments had caused such a ruckus, claiming that he was taken out of context and adding that he had never meant to “condemn the young man. RGIII is a great young man with a bright future. It was more about concerns, not condemning.”

Concerns, apparently, about how “athletes or famous entertainers or whatever push away from their people. And that’s really what it’s about. You saw it with O.J. Simpson and some other people where they say, ‘Well, I’m not black; I’m O.J.’ So it’s more about that, not about RGIII and what’s going on. It’s more about this thing we’ve battled for years and why people have pushed away from their people. It’s more about that.”

“Pushed away from their people?” By that reasoning, I should embrace everything Italian American, mafia included. Maybe go by Jennie the D (D standing for Death, of course. Very intimidating, right?), pack heat and eat more pasta?

Ok, ok. I don’t think it’s possible for me to eat more pasta than I already do, but you get the point. Hopefully. Unless you’re as neurologically-challenged as Rob Parker.

RGIII, meanwhile, should clearly start acting much more like the ego-tripping thug, Terrell Owens, who never gets accused of not being black enough. Maybe if he knocked up a liquor store or two and made himself a baby daddy a few times over, Mr. Parker would approve of him a bit more.

Griffin might not be able to respect himself anymore, of course. But who cares?

Clearly, self-respect isn't the point. The point is to be authentically black as defined by bewilderingly stupid, really racist people like Rob Parker.

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