The Discovery Channel is getting ready to run their infamous Shark Week, a week in which they focus on… wait for it… Sharks!
The fearsome predators with their toothy leers and bone-crushing bites are mesmerizing. While just the thought of getting attacked by one is nothing short of terrifying, there’s still something entirely compelling about the critters when they’re behind impenetrable panes of glass or on TV.
Maybe it’s the way they glide so effortlessly through the water, or the power they possess or their odd, alien beauty. (Except for hammerheads. Those sharks are just ugly!) And please note that these musings are coming from somebody who is insanely terrified of sharks.
They’re on my list of Top Three Things to Avoid in Life. The one time I encountered what I estimate to be a four foot shark out in the ocean, I panicked so badly that my older sister honestly considered knocking me unconscious so she could drag my unhinged self back to shore.
Yet for all of that, if I had cable, I can guarantee I’d be tuned to the Discovery Channel the whole entire Shark Week long. And not just because of the attention-grabbing commercial just debuted for it…
Said commercial features “Snuffy the Seal,” a fictional… wait for it… seal that was injured out in the wild, then rescued and rehabilitated by some do-gooder organization. To commemorate the occasion, a congenial TV anchor sits straight and tall in his immaculate suite explaining what the audience is about to watch: the live filming of Snuffy the Seal’s release out into the wild.
He cuts to a peppy and adorable cheerleader-turned-reporter, sporting the cutest apricot dress and perfectly arranged brunette tresses, who begins to narrate “Snuffy’s triumphant return” from the safety of a tall, tall pier.
As Snuffy is lowered via crane and harness into the ocean...
I’m sure you have some inkling about where this is going, but I suggest you watch the video anyway.
Then decide whether the commercial is disgusting or hysterical.