Wednesday, July 17, 2013

SHOCKER: Asks Men Stupid Questions and Gets Stupid Results

Sorry boys, but I’m going to take issue with you today. You can blame it on

It’s not because I don’t love you all. Well, actually, I don’t. (I don’t love all women either.) But I do love some of you quite dearly and I mean no offense with what I’m about to say.

So in the spirit of honest inquiry and understanding between the sexes… Do you guys have any actual understanding of what you really want in a woman?

Now I know I blogged just last week about men being driven by societal pressure instead of by individuality and preferences and common sense. That was after a Dustin Hoffman interview went viral, in which he admitted he only paid attention to women who “fulfill physically the demands that we’re brought up to think women have to have in order to ask them out.”  

Hoffman noted sadly that, “There’s too many interesting women I have… not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed.”

That caught my attention, largely because it’s so exceptionally tragic. Today, we’ve been granted another pop culture insight into how the male mind works. It’s less depressing this time but still entirely bewildering. (a.k.a. came out with this year’s version of its incorrectly named “Great Male Survey.” In it, they ask men what archetype they would most want to date:

·         The Comedienne
·         The Bombshell
·         The Indie Film Star
·         The Award-Winner
·         The Strong Personality

Surprisingly, “The Strong Personality came in a clear second place at 18.7%. Not so surprisingly, “The Bombshell” still stole the show with a resounding 40.5%. Go figure. then asked which celebrity men they would best like to date:

·         Kate Upton (clearly The Bombshell)
·         Emma Stone (The Indie Film Star type? Maybe?)
·         Jennifer Lawrence (The Award Winner, I suppose)
·         Tina Fey (whom some lesser minds might call The Comedienne)
·         Kerry Washington (The Strong Personality)

Kate Upton actually came in at a mere 23%, while Jennifer Lawrence took top spot with 32%, Emma Stone narrowly missed with 31%, Tina Fey was awarded 10% and Kerry Washington got just 4%.

As a quick aside: come on guys? You’d really pick Tina Fey over Kerry Washington? That girl is gorgeous! So considering that they both have the same messed up political views and therefore the same lack of common sense, that makes you insane.

Both Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence clearly fall into the quirky but adorable category (there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, if I do say so myself), not Bombshell. They can look absolutely stunning in their red carpet evening gowns, but that’s not their typical selves. Their beauty is much more Girl Next Door than Drive Men to Their Knees Diva.

It’s therefore impossible for men to say their ideal type is “Bombshell” and yet turn down Kate Upton in such a small sample of drastically different women.

This again begs the question: do men understand what they actually want when it comes to women?

The evidence seems to say that some of you guys are really quite confused.

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