Friday, August 9, 2013

Kate Upton Is a Moron

I’m not in the best of moods today. I’m going to flat-out admit it. So forgive me if I seem a bit more harsh than usual. (Or don’t. That’s your choice.)

Supermodel Kate Upton is a moron. An unbelievably stupid, stupid person.

How can I make such blatantly and intentionally unkind statements?

First off, believe me, I could go a LOT worse than that and it would still be true.

Any non-moronic individual knows that, like it or not, when a woman dons an itty-bitty bikini baring over half of her breasts and an extreme amount of her downstairs area while posing for Sports Illustrated with a come-and-get-me-boys smile on her face, she’s going to get some overly sexualized, downright sleazy and even hurtful attention.

The fact that Kate Upton doesn’t automatically understand this is definitive proof that she’s a moron (among other things).

Still think I’m being too harsh? Check out what Yahoo reported the other day:

“She may be the most lusted-after woman in the world, but supermodel Kate Upton doesn’t always love being the object of everyone’s affection.

“Shockingly, it was what came after she’d landed the coveted cover of ‘Sports Illustrated’s’ Swimsuit issue in 2012 – an honor she repeated in 2013 – that both made the 21-year-old a household name and brought out a darker side to being the new ‘It’ girl.

“‘After my first Sports Illustrated cover, I felt terrible about myself for a solid month,’ Upton tells Elle in its September issue. ‘Every single guy I met was either married or about to be married, and I felt like I was their bachelor present or something. I’m not a toy, I’m a human. I’m not here to be used. I am a grown woman, and you need to figure your s**t out.’”

They’re not the only one, moron. They’re not the only one.

It’s high time for Upton – and every other post-feminist nitwit out there – to learn that, when women present themselves as overly sexualized objects to anybody willing to spend a few bucks on a magazine, they’re going to get treated like objects… or “bachelor present[s] or something” meant “to be used” like “a toy.” Certainly not like humans.

This isn’t rocket science, girls. It’s a fact of nature that men can be scum. It’s also a universal truth that, if we encourage them to embrace their scumminess, a decent number of them are going to take us up on that offer.

If we can’t grasp that very simple concept, ladies, then we’re not going to be very happy or fulfilled campers. Morons usually aren’t in the end.

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