Thursday, September 19, 2013

Scientists Successfully Predict Miley Cyrus Debacle But Get Everything Else Wrong

I’ve decided that earth-focused scientists are overall a bunch of idiots who are desperately trying to prove themselves superior, all the while setting themselves up for countless failures.

Of course, this isn’t a scientists-only issue. Any group – or individual – that adopts arrogance as a prime personality trait isn’t doing itself any favors. Just look at Washington and how much it’s mucked up the economy, women’s rights, minorities’ rights, rights in general, education, immigration, the military, international issues, the budget… and the list goes on.

That’s because Washington is filled with arrogant people who want to pretend they know better than everyone else about everything else. It doesn’t matter how many times they fail in this quest to gain personal fulfillment by demeaning others; they’ll still get right back up and try it again.

Sadly, since science and politics are all-too closely entwined these days – some might even say incestuous – scientists have developed the same exact disease, probably from smooching up to their political funders one too many times.

Clearly, this is contagious. So if you want a quick moral to the story: Stay as far away from politicians and scientists as possible if you don’t want to turn into an idiot too.

Just as clearly, it’s rather annoying. Especially when they raise the alarm that Oh no! The earth is heating up at an exponential rate and all the baby seals are going to die and the polar bears are set to drown and people will starve to death due to extreme temperatures at both ends of the scale and droughts and too much rain and hurricanes and tornados and an influx of articles about Miley Cyrus being an inappropriate hoochie. Oh the horrors!!!!

I’ll admit that the whole Miley Cyrus thing is giving me a bit of a headache, but otherwise, ho hum. So far, life seems rather normal to me… rather like it has ever since scientists started raising the alarm about global warming/climate change/seasonal temperature fluctuations.

While scientists haven’t piped down about that subject despite a growing public numbness to the debate (possibly because we’re a bit on the chilly side due to all the record lows set this year), they also added another alarmist call to the mix earlier in the year…

2013, they said, was going to see an extreme uptick in solar activity, which would severely mess with power grids and communication systems.

Except, like global warming, that never happened. Quite the opposite, actually. While 2013 is hardly over yet, so far solar activity has dropped to a 100-year low.

Why do we keep listening to these idiots?

P.S. Scientists didn’t really predict the Miley Cyrus MTV 2013 VMA Music Awards ridiculousness, of course. But it seemed mean not to give them credit for something.

No comments:

Post a Comment