Monday, October 14, 2013

Government Failure Leads to Food Stamp Debit Cards SNAFU

You see, they rely on electronic cards – much like debit cards – to dole out government funding to people deemed destitute enough to warrant the aid. So when vendor Xerox Corp. ran a routine test on the computer systems responsible for maintaining those cards, the whole thing crashed.

That failure begs us to learn a lesson or two from this SNAFU…

First logical conclusion to be made: This is a SNAFU: Situation Normal All Flipped Up. Forgive my creative, conservative liberties. Obviously, the F doesn’t really stand for “Flipped.” But that’s not what you should be focusing on when the key word in that acronym is “Normal.”

A government big enough to interfere with everything is automatically big enough to turn everything into one giant mess, which it does on a daily basis.

True story. Nonfiction.

But just to be irrationally argumentative, let’s say that conservatives are somehow completely and totally wrong in reading the blatantly obvious signs that government is leading us into unfathomable levels of debt and chaos. Even if reality has been flipped upside down on its head – turning black into white, white into black, telephones into alligators and alligators into snowcapped mountain peaks – the government still failed on Saturday.

Government dependents were not able to depend on government. Therefore, logic 101 dictates, government failed. Which means it isn’t reliable, not as a savior figure at least.

For that matter, neither is technology, since that was part of the failure too.

And what else can we add to the list?

·         Scientists, since they’ve been consistently wrong about everything this year
·         Relationships, which are comprised of emotional, irrational human beings who do emotional, irrational things (Nope, I’m not bitter.)
·         Physical strength, which fails far too easily and far too quickly
·         Nature, since it has a tendency to throw some serious curveballs

Need I go on, or are you depressed enough already?

If you’re not depressed, you either aren’t paying attention or you know what I know: that there is a reliable savior figure out there in Jesus Christ.

Mock all you want if that scares you, but it doesn’t change the truth. If you’d really let yourself think about it for one moment, you’d have to admit that, when everything else around us is so entirely fallible, it’s nice to know there’s an eternally loving being who has our back.

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