Friday, November 22, 2013

No Offense to Blonds…

I’m going to warn you right now: This isn’t a very nice blog entry.

In fact, I kinda feel bad posting it.

Just not bad enough, I suppose.

As a conservative, I believe in taking responsibility for my own actions, and therefore take full blame for anybody who gets offended by the following account.

As a daughter, however, I’m totally going to throw my father under the bus (Hi, Dad!) for showing it to me in the first place. Some parents, I tell you.

But without further ado, here’s the story of the woman who was shot in her own driveway…

“Linda Burnett, 26, a resident of Orlando, was visiting her in-laws and went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

“Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up, her eyes closed and both hands behind the back of her head. Concerned, he walked over to the car only to notice how strange she looked. He asked her if she was okay, and she replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brain in for over an hour.

“Horrified, the husband called the paramedics, who had to break into the car since the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. Yet when they were in, they found that Linda hadn’t been shot at all: She merely had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

“A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brain.”

“Linda is a blond, a Democrat and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.”

“Regardless, the defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date found to be from 2008. So it was determined to be Bush's fault.”

See why I had to post it? That last line right there fit far too perfectly with yesterday’s post, “President Obama Says Republicans to Blame for Obamacare Problems.”

And even if it hadn’t, it was way too funny not to share.

All the same, sorry to any blonds I offended.

No comments:

Post a Comment