Tuesday, April 8, 2014

God Doesn’t Favor Republicans Over Democrats Because Republicans Are Morons Too

I went to church with my sister on Saturday evening, where the pastor was winding up a sermon on how to study the Bible. To illustrate his points, he asked 10 different questions, one of which was: “Does God favor Republicans or Democrats?”

I made a joke to my sister that God didn’t favor either. It was conservatives he liked the best. Some irritating lady several pews behind me spoke up a lot louder to declare that “God doesn’t favor either. And to those who think he does, he’s up there laughing at you.”

It was obvious she was a liberal just by her know-it-all and actually belittling attitude alone. The funny thing is that she clearly had her own political agenda in answering the question, when the conclusion the pastor wanted us to reach was that we shouldn’t take our political agendas with us when we study the Bible.

As much as it pains me to admit it though, the woman was right. Not in the real point she was trying to make but in the actual words that came out of her mouth.

God really doesn’t favor Republicans over Democrats.

Why not, when so many Democrat policies are destructive, godless and even downright evil?

That’d be because so many Republicans are destructive, godless and downright stupid.

Take Congressman Vance McAllister, a Republican representative from Louisiana who ran on his Christian values to get elected. Apparently the husband and father of five  doesn’t study the Bible nearly enough though. Otherwise he’d know that it kinda frowns on adultery.

According to The Ouachita Citizen, the cheating scumbag “issued a statement Monday afternoon, ‘asking for forgiveness’ after” getting “captured in a video recording passionately kissing and embracing a member of his congressional staff.”

I watched part of the video. It wasn’t an “oops, my lips just found yours accidentally” kind of kiss… if there is that kind of kiss to begin with. It was a familiar, pre-meditated lip-lock that was, frankly, disgusting. Not because it was PDA but because it was about to hurt his family a whole lot more than it was worth.

If he can’t handle the basic responsibility of being a husband and a father, then there’s no reason to think he can honestly serve his constituents.

And that right there is why God doesn’t favor Republicans over Democrats. Because the Democrats may be bad, but it’s getting more and more difficult to call their political opponents the good guys.

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