Thursday, May 29, 2014

Memorial Day Beachgoers Have No Trouble Displaying Their Bodies… Or Lack of Brains

I like things to be fair and right and correct and truthful and accurate.

(No, that’s not me bragging. I have plenty of faults. As a general rule, though, a tendency towards injustice isn’t one of them. A temper now…? That’s a whole ‘nother story.)

So sometimes, I feel bad for the people who get caught up in conservatives’ let’s-make-fun-of-how-stupid-liberals-are videos. I mean, let’s face it, getting stopped by some random stranger with a camera and a microphone asking questions you weren’t prepared to answer can be a little nerve-wracking.

That kind of unexpected pressure can do crazy things to our brains, making us say and do stuff we’d never otherwise say and do.

That’s why I didn’t immediately jump all over The Tea Party News Network feed “You Can Thank the Department of Education for This…” on my Facebook homepage.

Based on the tagline: “This video will make you question why we even have a Dept. of Education if this is the result of their work” and the picture of a fully clothed, 30-something reporter questioning a bikini-clad young woman on the beach,” I kinda figured the poor thing had been bombarded with questions about simple mathematical equations or something.

(Considering that math is one of my faults, there’s no telling what stupid stuff I might answer.)

But apparently, I was giving the bethonged girl waaaaayyyy too much leeway. Because the Fox News reporter wasn’t throwing any curveballs at Memorial Day beachgoers. He was asking questions like:

“Who did America fight in the Revolutionary War?”

People’s answers included:

·         “The French”
·         “I don’t know”
·         “Countries”
·         “China”

When asked “What was George Washington’s job?” they answered:

·         “He was… the second president after Lincoln.”
·         “He was a general or something.”
·         “He didn’t work with horses, did he?”

And as for “Who won the Civil War?”

·         “The northeast or whatever”
·         “Us”
·         “Great Britain”
·         “Wasn’t it the French?”

Sadly, I’m not kidding.

I don’t care how many hours an American over the age of 16 has been out in the sun or how many alcoholic beverages they’ve consumed… They should know the answers to those questions and the other ridiculously easy ones recorded in this video without hesitation.

I really wish my original cynicism about The Tea Party News Network's reporting had proven justified. You have no idea how much I do.

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