This morning, during my usual perusal through The Drudge Report, I saw a headline reading: “City Cracks Down with Toughest Curfew In Country; Parents Face $500 Fines…”
Now, I don’t pay attention to Baltimore news. I could really care less about it overall. The way I look at the local going-ons is this:
I’m already very well aware that my city is irrevocably screwed up, and that the only way it will cease being screwed up is if God himself grants it a miracle.
(He can, of course, so I guess that makes my city almost irrevocably screwed up, not entirely.)
Yet despite not caring one bit about reading about the latest set of violence to occur in this ridiculously immature city of mine, when I saw that headline, I thought to myself: How much you wanna bet that’s Baltimore?
And then I clicked on it just to see if I was right.
Guess what? I was! Go me!!!
I think I deserve a cookie. But moving on…
It appears that Baltimore will soon feature the nation’s toughest curfew laws, signed, sealed and delivered by none other than our very own Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake, who hasn’t done a single thing to curb Baltimore City violence during her tenure, as far as I’m aware.
Parents will have to pay a $500 fine if their children under 14 are caught out unsupervised after 9:00 pm. And the same applies to kids between the ages of 14 and 16, only they’re given until 10:00 to clear the streets.
Parents can waive the fine by attending parental guidance classes, paid for by Baltimore taxpayers, of course.
This is a desperate, last-ditch attempt to curb the thug activity perpetrated by exceptionally violent miniature gangsters, who – when grouped together – can do just as much damage as the full-grown kind.
We’ll see if it does any good whatsoever.