Friday, October 24, 2014

“Rival Survivor” Sticks Democrat Politician and Republican Politician on Deserted Island

Watch out, world! There’s a new reality TV show on the American airwaves.

“Ho hum,” you say? Those things are a dime a dozen?

THINK AGAIN!!

This isn’t your average, everyday dramafest with immature models, shallow playa-playas, or cut-throat business people. This time, realty TV is taking you into the world of politics… and sharks… and extreme living conditions… and survival skills… ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!

[Cue the dramatic music.]

In “Rival Survivor,” two United States Senators – one a Democrat and one a Republican – find themselves dropped about a quarter-mile out into the ocean in shark-infested waters, at what time they’ll have to swim through stiff currents to a small, deserted island where they have no choice but to get along… or suffer the consequences.

[Need breath! Need breath!]

Forget that Senator Jeff Flake, a Republican from Arizona, and Senator Martin Heinrich, a Democrat from New Mexico, seem to have gotten along just fine to begin with. This is raw! This is real! This is “Rival Survivor”!

Ok, yeah, it’s pretty much like the original and totally tired “Survivor” series, just with politicians. But get pumped people, ‘cause this is cool!

You know what would be even cooler though? If said politicians – both dimwitted Democrats and ridiculous Republicans – would stop pulling dumb publicity stunts like this and actually get something done in Washington, instead of on some Hollywood camera-crew infested island.

Now that’s reality TV I could watch.

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