Tuesday, May 5, 2015

It Was Never a Dress, or It Was Never an Issue?

There’s this stupid mini movement called “It Was Never a Dress” comprised of about three liberals in California.

Okay. That kind of snarky comment was uncalled for. And a lie. There’s more like four people who care. But they are all out in California.

Part of a larger 12-person movement challenging gender stereotypes in pop culture, “It Was Never a Dress” takes particular issue with the stick figures on women’s bathrooms, which appear to show dresses.

Or do they?

Cue the dramatic, inspirational piece-of-trash soundtrack. Because maybe, “it was never a dress,” and we’re just too blinded by ingrained sexism to see that those stick figures are actually wearing… Wait for it… capes!

Such an inspiration to stick figure women everywhere, right? I’m sure this is going to tell all those mean-spirited men around the world that they’d better recognize. It’ll make a major difference. Right up there with last night’s display of feminine daring at the Met Gala:

·         Kim Kardashian wearing a dress that’s at least supposed to give the allusion of being mostly see-through, if it isn’t actually mostly see-through
·         Beyonce’s DEFINITELY see-through “dress” that features strategically-placed rhinestones to cover the bare minimum (Honestly, she looks like a hooker troll with that idiot ponytail up high on her head)
·         Jennifer Lopez, who showed off almost as much body in one of the tackiest side-less monstrosities I have ever seen in my life.

Or how about Britney Spears and Iggy Azalea’s new hit-to-be “Pretty Girls,” which contains the inspirational lyrics:

            All around the world
            Pretty girls
            Wipe the floor with all the boys
            Pour the drinks, bring the noise
            We’re just so pretty!

            All around the world
            Pretty girls
            Jump the line to the front
            Do what we like, get what we want
            We’re just so pretty

Judging by all that ridiculously bratty behavior, I don’t think capes are all that necessary for most women these days. Instead, aging mothers like Kim Kardashian, Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez clearly need money for real wardrobes, while little tarts like Britney Spears and Iggy just need a good spanking like the little brats they sound like.

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