Thursday, June 4, 2015

Report: Rise in Baltimore Murders Has Nothing to Do With Cops’ Indictment

Guess what, Baltimore? Great news! That ridiculously terrifying rise in crime you’ve seen ever since those six cops got indicted for arresting career criminal Freddie Gray and then failing to prevent him from breaking his own spine while in custody?

That’s right. The two sets of circumstances have nothing to do with each other! It was just one giant coincidence.

You see, according to Police Commissioner Batts, “There’s enough narcotics on the streets of Baltimore to keep it intoxicated for a year.” More than 175,000 units of drugs were stolen from over 25 pharmacies during the April 27 riots. (Way to go Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake for letting those looters express themselves!) And those thefts are now causing more conflicts between already existent gangs battling over turf.

So go ahead and keep treating cops as criminals and criminals as victims. Clearly, it’s not having any harmful side-effects whatsoever.

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