Friday, December 4, 2015

Dear Men, Stop Acting Like Little Girls

Men aren't men these days. They're little girls.

No, I take that back. Little girls are cute. Which means men aren't little girls. They're teenage girls. The kind that complain about everything, since like, omg, their lives are sooooo difficult, but wow, like what do you think of my new top. Isn't it totes Gucci?

Yes, "Gucci" is what the cool kids are saying these days. As opposed to Wal-Mart. You apparently don't want to be Wal-Mart.

Why am I comparing men to that level of pathetic?

Because one of my male coworkers ordered a suit for the company Christmas party, had it delivered to the office, and then asked whether he should go try it on for us to ooh and ahh over him.

I'm. Not. Kidding.

I would have felt like an idiot asking my coworkers if I could model my party dress (which is totes Gucci, btw) for them. He should have too.

But he didn't. Because men aren't men these days.

In their defense, feminist culture has been telling them to act more like women for decades. Not in their defense, they should have stuck to being men, since they make really bad women.

I mean, some female characteristics can be annoying, but feminized men take them to a whole new level of obnoxious.

Guys, I’m sorry. It’s just not attractive when you take Yoga classes, get more offended than us about “women’s rights” and think you have a prayer of looking prettier than we do.

Please go back to wearing pants. You don’t have the legs for skirts anyway.

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