Monday, January 25, 2016

This Is Art? This Is Entertainment? We’re Doomed!

A farting corpse with a constant erection.

That’s someone’s idea of a Sundance Film Festival submission. Which is bad enough by itself.

What’s worse is that it was actually accepted.

Worse still is how, according to Yahoo, it was “one of the most anticipated movies” at this year’s event, with the Eccles Theater having “to turn away hundreds of movies fans, and even a few industry VIPs, at the packed premiere of ‘Swiss Army Man,’ starring Daniel Radcliffe and Paul Dano.”

Yahoo goes on to explain that “The indie, directed by music video duo Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, opens with Radcliffe (as the corpse) washing onto a shore. Dano’s character inspects the body, as it comes to life by twitching and passing gas.

“The story unfolds in a magical realist style and features long discussions about masturbation, isolation and the meaning of life. It also features a kiss between Dano and Radcliffe (who continues to flee his Harry Potter image by taking part in a reoccurring gag where his dead character maintains an erection).”


My first thought is that’s one of the most pathetic, pointless, worthless play plots I’ve ever heard of.

My second is that it sounds a lot like Samuel Beckett’s classic, Waiting for Godot… which also happens to be one of the most pathetic, pointless, worthless play plots I’ve ever heard of. Unfortunately with that one, I’ve actually had to read it for a post-modern British literature course back in college.

The whole premise of Waiting for Godot is that God doesn’t exist. That we’re fools for thinking he’s ever going to show up when our entire history points to him never being there.

And who knows. Maybe we are.

But personally, I’d rather have the dignity of believing I’m loved by some higher power than think my greatest contribution to society could be writing a pathetic, pointless, worthless play about a farting corpse with a constant erection.

Otherwise, the human race seems pretty much doomed.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Patriotic Is NOT a Dirty Word

Working in Microsoft Word this week, I came across a disturbing aspect when I looked up “patriotic” in its thesaurus. Here’s the list of supposed synonyms it gave me:

·         Loyal
·         Nationalistic
·         Partisan
·         Devoted
·         Jingoistic
·         Xenophobic
·         Chauvinistic

Apparently jingoistic means belligerently chauvinistic. Hardly a flattering description.

And hardly accurate when being compared to a derivative of “patriotism,” which means “devoted love, support, and defense of one’s country,” according to

How do you get chauvinistic out of that? Or jingoistic? O xenophobic? Or even partisan?

Now, I can understand nationalistic to some degree. Patriotism, like just about everything else in life, can be overdone. And when it is, it can become nationalism, which is scary dangerous.

But patriotism by itself is a positive thing. Especially the kind of American patriotism that led our founders to fight for their dignity against a condescending king an ocean away.

In studying the Revolutionary War again, this time for Designing America, the sequel to Maiden America, I’m once again amazed at how seriously our ancestors took their patriotism: putting their lives, their families, their possessions, their health and their sanity in jeopardy to ensure a worthwhile future for their fledgling country.

Slandering that kind of devotion, commitment, faith and courage with names like the ones listed above is not only patently false but also downright deranged and unbelievably ungrateful.

But I guess that’s what we want of our citizens these days: to be gullible, unbalanced brats, as conservative activist James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas recorded in its latest undercover video.

In it, full-grown gullible, unbalanced brat Kim Koerber – who works in the educational publishing industry – defends the government-pushed, propaganda-based Common Core curriculum by saying that, “The dead white guys did not create this country.” Except they did.

Yes, there are dead women and dead blacks and dead everyone else who did too. James Armistead Lafayette and the 1st Rhode Island Regiment (both who get credit in Designing America) are amazing proof of that. And those people deserve to be mentioned in the history books too.

But not at the expense of those “dead white guys,” those fellow patriots who deserve more for what they gave us than we can ever afford today.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Muslim Prayer Breaks Disrupt Work Shifts at Wisconsin Plant

In some ways, I admire devout Muslims for praying five times a day.

I mean… Five times a day. That’s commitment! As a Christian, I sometimes have to force myself to pray just once a day, especially when that day is a weekend.

Admirable or not, however, the rigidity of when those Middle Eastern prayers have to be made isn’t necessarily compatible with American business. That’s what Ariens, a Wisconsin lawn mower and snow blower maker (that’s rather unfortunately named, given the circumstances), found out the hard way.

With some 53 staunchly Muslim Somalian refugees working at its plant, it initially allowed two additional five-minute breaks per shift for those employees. As of January 25, however, it’s changing its policy since the “manufacturing environment does not allow for unscheduled breaks in production.”

That was Ariens’ official statement on the subject, with CEO Dan Ariens adding, “If I’m on a team of assemblers of ten and two out, all ten of them have to stop, not just the two.” Moreover, “When the team sees that some are getting unscheduled breaks, paid or unpaid, it just doesn’t seem fair to the rest.”

Many of the Muslim workers, naturally, aren’t thrilled with that decision. Which I get. Really. The new policy makes it easier for Ariens at their expense.

However, Ariens is the one in charge. It’s the one with a bottom line to worry about, customers to satisfy and a larger workforce to take into account. So it’s well within its rights here, both from a legal and ethical standpoint.

Likewise, I’m not trying to be a jerk when I say these Muslim workers are now in the Christian-based America, not their native Somalia. If they want to stay here, they need to figure out how to do things the American way.

It’s either that, or they should leave.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Judge This, Sweetie Pie

You know, people say the word “judge” like it’s a bad thing.

“Judge not lest you be judged,” they quote piously, as if that’s the end-all and be-all to life’s problems. That if we just don’t “judge,” the world will be at peace and everyone will get along just fine.

But will they really? Or would the world fall apart even worse than it already is?

Before you answer that question, consider what would happen if you didn’t:

·         Judge a car before you bought it
·         Judge a relationship before you said “I do”
·         Judge an alleyway before you walked down it
·         Judge the smell of those leftovers you’ve had in the fridge maybe a week too long
·         Judge a friend’s alcohol level before you let him or her drive
·         Judge how much gasoline is left in your car before you take it through inner city Baltimore
·         Judge how long a light will stay yellow before you go running through it
·         Judge whether a med student is competent before you graduate him
·         Judge whether a politician is trustworthy before you elect him.

Judging is making a determination. It’s analyzing the situation and coming to a conclusion. And it’s necessary for life to continue in any worthwhile fashion.

Can we judge wrong sometimes? Of course.  Sometimes we don’t analyze enough and come to the wrong conclusions as a result.

But saying we shouldn’t judge because we might judge wrong is like saying we shouldn’t eat because we eat wrong.

It’s a stupid inference that actually causes more harm than good.

Rather like wasting our money – or worse – on a lemon, or marrying the wrong person or getting mugged because we didn’t look before we leapt… contracting food poisoning… getting into a drunk-driving accident… stalling out in a bad part of town… getting a ticket for running a red… suffering from the ignorance of an unqualified doctor… or seeing our liberties attacked by a dishonorable president…

We shouldn’t stop judging, people. We should just get better at it.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Germany Rings in the New Year With Scores of Sexual Assaults by Alleged Refugees

Yesterday, BBC News issued a report about the German city of Cologne, where About 1,000 young men - many of North African or Arab appearance - are believed to have arrived in large groups, seemingly with the specific intention of carrying out attacks on women” on New Year’s Eve.

However, “Officials have urged people not to link the violence to Germany’s influx of refugees.”

Ummm… Say what?

Perhaps citizens or spectators with half their brain cells missing can resist making THAT connection about THAT many men matching THAT basic description committing THAT many crimes against women when we all know how THAT part of the world views the female sex.

But only if the story is about one single city in a country that’s made a staunch effort to accept so many refugees over the last few months. Once you add in the Breitbart story that it wasn’t isolated to Cologne… that it was, in fact, a nationwide issue on New Year’s Eve?

Well, let’s just say you can’t call yourself anything but brainwashed or brainless if you don’t make that connection.

Sure, it wasn’t 1,000 men per city. Only “groups of… men aged between 20 and 40 [who] sexually assaulted dozens of women” in Hamburg, resulting in over 50 complaints; “four separate incidents” near the Brandenburg gate in Berlin; “an unspecified number” of victims in Stuttgart; and 11 such attacks in Düsseldorf, all of which Breitbart reports were of Middle Eastern appearance.

People of the press, government officials and everyone else, that’s a problem. That’s a big problem. And it’s high time someone started admitting it.

It’s not automatically racist or nationalistic to admit when some set of outsiders is being offensive. And when women aren’t safe on their own streets because of outsider behavior?

That’s offensive. It’s inexcusable. And it’s a very good reason to rethink one’s refugee program… if not shut it down altogether.

How many women need to be sexually assaulted in the name of human rights before we start using even half of our brain cells to analyze reality?

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Socialist Bernie Sanders Revives Occupy Wall Street Movement with a Declaration of War

Bernie Sanders – America’s socialist presidential candidate – has declared war on Wall Street, vowing in his New England accent that “under my administration, Wall Street CEOs will no longer receive a get out of jail free card. Not only will big banks not be too big to fail, but big time bankers will not be too big to jail.”

So far, so good. Bernie Sanders is right on the money, communal or capitalist, on that point. The government shouldn’t be bailing out banks. It shouldn’t be offering protection to businesses that can’t cut it, whether through incompetence or bad luck.

But Bernie’s declaration needs to be taken a step further if he really wants to make a positive change in America. He needs to understand that government shouldn’t be meddling with commerce at all, which is not the platform he’s running on at all.

Instead, he says he wants to ramp up the meddling, pledging to “break up the country’s biggest financial firms within a year and limit banking fees placed on consumers,” according to Yahoo.

That kind of mentality is not what made America great; it’s what made America sick, with government stepping in and “helping out” with problems it created in the first place by stepping in and “helping out.”

Government is the reason the banks are as powerful as they are. It’s a combination of government ties and government allowances and government interference in the forms of crony capitalism and overreaching laws that allow institutions like JPMorgan, Bank of America, Citigroup and Wells Fargo to go where no banks have gone – or should go – before.

And it’s definitely the government’s original sin that put those financial institutions in need of those get out of jail free cards in 2008 and 2009. By demanding that banks give out housing loans to people who had no business buying houses, it fostered an absolutely unsustainable housing market that eventually crashed and burned, taking the global economy with it.

The fallout was so catastrophic that, over seven years later, the world still hasn’t really recovered, hence the reason why China’s financial markets crashed the last two days, sending U.S. and European financial markets crashing too.

So by declaring war on Wall Street, Bernie Sanders is like a doctor doling out pain medication but no actual treatment to a cancer victim. Maybe the patient will feel better when he pops those pills, but he’s going to die without a proper prescription or some kind of divine intervention.

Big banks and big businesses and big people who are getting away with bad behavior are the side effect, not the cause of our decline. Big government is what started it all.

The only way to fix the issue long term is with small government, the kind that does let big banks fail and big bankers go to jail… just on their own, not because some presidential candidate declared war on them.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

There Is a War on Women... But It Isn't led by Republicans

Like the Democrats keep telling us, there is a War on Women. What they don't tell us is that they're responsible, and they have been ever since the so-called sexual revolution in the 1960s.

It's the kind of war that tells us our highest calling is to act like the least admirable kind of man: the kind that lets his body lead, his mind follow and his psyche decay.

The main difference is that, in the feminized version of the sex-driven man, it’s a whole heck of a lot of work to maintain.

While we’re busy acting worthless, we’re told to dress like a million bucks. So we spend tons of money on makeup and clothing and gym memberships, and hours in front of the mirror primping, all in the pursuit of some image that destroys what we're meant to be.

The 20th century was bad in de-feminizing women, but the 21st century has managed to be about 10 times worse thanks to the transgender movement.

If you’re shaking your head asking how I can be so closeminded as to say such a thing, I have a responding question for you before I answer.

How can you be so stupid as to believe anything else?

Last year, Glamour Magazine named Bruce Jenner “Woman of the Year.” And no, I refuse to call him Caitlin Jenner when he was born a man, remains a man and still has a penis.

He’s a man. And yet he’s touted as Woman of the Year. What does that say about real women when we can’t even win in a gender-exclusive category?

Now, this year, Jaden Smith – the son of actor Will Smith who doesn’t proclaim to be female or transgender or anything other than plain full-of-himself weird – has become Louis Vuitton’s newest model for its Spring/Summer 2016 women’s line.

Even though, let’s be clear and sound this out slowly… He’s. Not. A. Woman.

Worse yet is how he’s arguably the best looking “gal” out of his “fellow” female models, who look ridiculous!

They’re posed in the stupidest positions like they’re poorly put together mannequins instead of people, man or woman. Their outfits are hanging off them as if they’re concentration camp victims, and the one woman’s hair and expression make me think she really is a man. There’s nothing feminine about her in this shot.

So yes. The War on Women exists. But it’s the liberal-left Democrats that are leading it by destroying the category of womanhood altogether.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Why in the World Aren’t We Hearing More About the Oregon Standoff?

Yesterday, I happened to see something one of my liberal Facebook friends had posted. Originally tweeted by one Qasim Rashid, Esq., it read:

“If 150 armed Muslims took over a chicken coop there’d be a worldwide terror alert. But 150 armed white folk seize a federal building & meh.”

Despite its lack of proper punctuation (there really should be a comma after “coop”), that’s surprisingly insightful.

Not for its boo-hooing over the plight of Muslim perception, of course. As I said repeatedly in 2015 – and I’m afraid I’ll have multiple opportunities to say again in 2016 – there’s a reason why Islam has the bad name that it does.

It’s the other part I find profound. The part about the “150 white folk” appropriating a federal building.

If you haven’t heard, an armed group of Oregonians went into the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge and declared its intention to stay indefinitely. This is in declared protest of a 73-year-old rancher and his son, who were found guilty of setting fires that went on to scorch federal land.

This is kind-of a big deal, people.

Yet nobody’s talking much about it. There aren’t articles splashed everywhere analyzing the perpetrators or interviewing their loved ones. There’s really no coverage at all.

Which is weird. By any standard. Muslim, Christian, un-American, American, left, right… It should be obvious to all that something’s off here.

I mean, this could too easily turn into another Waco ending. So where are the news crews? And where are the liberals using this story to condemn “rural” values, American freedoms and the Constitution?

This relative media silence isn’t normal. It’s so not normal that I’m going to go all conspiracy theorist here and say that the lack of coverage is government-mandated.

For whatever reason, I don’t think the Obama administration wants us to know about this situation. Rather like that third terrorist out in California who suddenly disappeared from the news, there are details in the Oregon situation that would reflect badly on the current president if they came to light.

There. I’ve said it. Feel free to call me out on it later if I’m wrong.

In the meantime, Happy New Year. Let freedom ring!