Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Chelsea Handler and Playboy Define Feminism

Playboy.

According to Dictionary.com, the literal definition is “a man who pursues a life of pleasure without responsibility or attachments, especially one who is of comfortable means.”

That’s the genteel way of putting it. Urbandictionary.com, as usual, is much more blunt:

·         “A man dedicated to chasing pieces of ass around, while sworn to a life of debauchery. He professes his love to all and commits to no one.”
·         “An older word for a ‘Player… essentially ‘bullshit artists’ who… usually hate their mothers, at least deep down, and, in turn, hate all women because of this. Women to them are to be used sexually and then thrown away when they get ‘clingy.’ Many times, their mothers were control freaks, half-insane or slept with a wide assortment of abusive men while the ‘play boy in training’ was growing up.”
·         “The male version of a whore.”
                                                                                                  
So basically, a playboy is a misogynist. Which means that a magazine called Playboy is the last place on earth a real feminist should be found.

Right?

Right.

Which is why Chelsea Handler sat down with Playboy to discuss feminism. Because she has no idea what a woman is really worth.

If you don’t know Handler, she’s a so-called comedian who talks about crude topics and insults people. I tried reading one of her books a while back. I think it was My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands. And it wasn’t even remotely funny.

It was vaguely depressing reading about her sexual experiences, including with a cabin boy on a cruise line who smacked her butt – apparently hard, out of the blue and without permission – while he had her down all fours. As I remember the tale, Handler didn’t make him stop.

So it makes sense that Playboy wants women to take their sexual and political cues from her.

According to Handler, she had some seriously dysfunctional parents, which is probably part of the reason why she got pregnant twice when she was sixteen. Both times, she got abortions.

As a result, she says she “should be applauded for making a smart and sustainable decision. I’d love for somebody to try to tell me what to do with my body. I dare them.”

The sad truth is that Playboy and – by her own admission – a long line of men already took her up on her challenge. It’s just that they made her believe it was her choice.

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