“The history of slavery in the United States justifies reparations for African Americans, argues a recent report by a U.N.-affiliated group based in Geneva,” declares a Washington Post article.
“This conclusion was part of a study by the United Nations’ Working Group of Experts on People of African Descent, a body that reports to the international organization’s High Commissioner on Human Rights. The group of experts, which includes leading human rights lawyers from around the world, presented its findings to the United Nations Human Rights Council on Monday, pointing to the continuing link between present injustices and the dark chapters of American history.”
Okay. You know what? Let’s say they win.
Let’s forget how the “Group of Experts on People of African Descent” sounds like a pretentiously long name to obscure general uselessness. And let’s forget that the United Nations is an over-bloated bureaucracy that makes tons of money by shaking its head at the world’s grossest human rights violations.
Let’s even forget that African Americans kill each other a living hell of a lot more than cops do (just Google “Baltimore shootings” for proof), and that the U.S. runs welfare and affirmative action programs to pay for its past, and that it has an African American president.
Instead, let’s just say that, yes, today’s African Americans deserve reparations for what their ancestors suffered generations ago.
Fine then. In that case, Great Britain also owes a ton of blacks a ton of stuff. So does France. And Spain. And Portugal. And all those nations that colonized willy-nilly back in the day.
For that matter, the descendants of the Africans who sold their fellow Africans into slavery those hundreds of years ago need to pitch in. ‘Cause there were a lot of those jerks.
While we’re going down the list and making leaps of logic, Great Britain should help pay America’s costs on top of its own since America used to be British. Sure, we’re not anymore just like slavery doesn’t exist anymore. But there are consequences to formerly being British: a “continuing link between present injustices” and those “dark chapters of American history.”
Speaking of which, the British owe Americans in general for all the oppression they meted out to us during the Revolutionary War: We’re talking rapes, murders, lootings, appropriations, impoverishments… Not a shiny, happy set of circumstances.
Meanwhile, Great Britain and the U.S. should probably pay something to the Irish for kidnapping them, selling them as chattel, forcing them to procreate and ripping families apart.
And how about all those little kiddies during the industrial revolution we’re taught about? Weren’t they underpaid, overworked and subjected to hideously dangerous work conditions all for the profit of some corporate overlords?
There’s also the Native Americans to consider. And the French were utterly wretched to the British during the 12th century, treating them like serfs they could use and abuse at will. And the Japanese were utterly wretched to the Chinese just last century.
And how about the Jews? Their entire history seems to be one of people being utterly wretched to them or at least trying to be utterly wretched to them.
Nor can we forget African atrocities against Africans and South American atrocities against South Americans and Middle Eastern atrocities against Middle Easterners over just the last century or two.
So really, maybe the whole wide world should just put all its money into one big pot and hand it out to anyone who can claim any kind of injustice in their history.
And maybe the United Nations and its pretentious branches and affiliations should set a great example and empty their pockets first.